It's currently 6am and I'm wide awake due to the pain in my arm and alot on my mind. Pain wise it has been a rough week. My arm is not getting better despite trying everything. I am doing my best to focus my attention on other things. Other than the pain I can honestly say I had the best New Years in a long time. I spent the evening with my family and some really good friends. We enjoyed laughing ALOT and just acting goofy. Which probably had something to do with the drinks Raheem made. The kids dressed up in ridiculous outfits and went outside screaming as we officially rang in the new year. My New years day was spent watching The Mummers. Something I have done for over 25 years. I was also working on my nails.
Today is January 2nd. Today is a day that changed my life forever. My twin sister gave birth to my gorgeous niece and Goddaughter. Kia Desiree' Stafford. Kia was A gift given to us when nothing was going right in our lives. This beautiful baby entered my life, stole my heart and I've never been the same. Kia would be 17 today. I can't even imagine her today. My Goddaughter was taken from us far too soon. Just 7 short weeks after this tiny angel was born she passed away from SIDS. ( sudden infant death syndrome.) It was only 11 months after my mothers death. 1995 was a year that taught me just how strong i truly was. That year I became a woman. Part of that is because of my neice.
I look back on that year in amazement sometimes. I wonder how a 17 year old could survive so much tragedy and still become a good person. I learned to depend on myself. I learned about providing for myself. I came to realize I had to make it all work because i had noone to fall back on. 1995 is also the year Raheem and I got together, moved in together and got pregnant.
I think I've made my mom proud. I have a great husband (most of the time :p) I have a strong marriage. We have been through alot but our love for each other is virtually indestructible. I have 3 happy, healthy, beautiful, intelligent kids. We have amazing friends. I have instilled in my kids the same values my mother instilled in me. She would not be happy with the broken relationships with my sisters (ill explain in another blog.) However, in my heart I know my mom would understand my reasons for distancing myself from them.I love them both dearly but i must do it from afar.
Wow i wrote far more than i had anticipated. I just hope it makes some type of sense lol. I have so many thoughts running through my brain it makes it hard to keep them all straight.
Thanks to you all for reading.
Love & sparkles
~~ raspberry shortcake
Wow, another wonderful post. I am so sorry about your Niece, You are an amazing gal, mother, wife and friend who has been thru hell and back and still who remains strong with no doubt. On top of that you remain strong for all of your friends, who are down, you pick back up. Thank you for that, and of course all of the laughs we have shared! You make MANY people proud!!! I hope you are finally getting some sleep, Gentle hugs and hope your arm starts feeling much better...<3 <3
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