Fighting back.......

It's 4:15 am and yet again sleep is avoiding me. As it has for the last 8 days or so. Im barely functioning on the hour or 2 im getting per night. On the bright side I know why.
I'm in the midst of a winter flare. Which means my pain is higher than its been in months. The pain in my leg is slowly working itself up. Increasing each day. My arm is on fire though not as bad as it was. On top of it all my right eye is on fire and my vision is extremely blurred. Making just seeing a bit more difficult than it usually is.
This flare is unlike winters of the past. I was emotionally prepped for it. I prepared myself for a pain increase. I worked hard all summer so this winter would be tolerable. Which it is. By tolerable its only a 9 instead of 10 on the pain scale. I have more "tools" to help decrease the pain. Which though not as effective as during the warmer months they are still helping.
To those who aren't really sure what any of this means let me try to explain.
Winter is my worst nightmare physically. Although I absolutely love snow my body and RSD do not. Just going outside (even with several layers) is excrutiating. I feel as though I am being sliced open repeatedly and bleach is being poured in my open wounds. On top of that I shiver. Making every muscle tighten up eventually causing severe spasms once i warm up. Because of all of this I severely limit any outdoor exposure during these months.
I hate that it prevents my family and I from enjoying outdoor winter activities. I would love to take the kids skiing and snow tubing. However just walking is a chore right now. But unlike winters of the past I am still able to walk. No crutches. I know my kids have a hard time dealing with all of this in the winter. They are forced to help out more because I do spend more time in the bed. They are also stuck in the house more than they would like to be.I wish things were different but this is our life. All I can do is make the best of it. I pray this all makes my kids stronger. I hope Im showing that despite having challenges you can still enjoy life.
Im going through this flare for the 1st time without being depressed. Without the "woe is me" mentality. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I refuse to focus on what I am not able to do. i know that despite the pain I am still able to get up and smile everyday. I still am able to teach my son daily. Maybe we are moving a little slower but Im doing it.
Raheem has been incredible through this flare. Hes been more supportive than ever before. We are both committed to enjoying our life together.
For the 1st time in all my winters with RSD i can see the light at the end of the tunnel......... SPRING.