Fighting back.......

It's 4:15 am and yet again sleep is avoiding me. As it has for the last 8 days or so. Im barely functioning on the hour or 2 im getting per night. On the bright side I know why.
I'm in the midst of a winter flare. Which means my pain is higher than its been in months. The pain in my leg is slowly working itself up. Increasing each day. My arm is on fire though not as bad as it was. On top of it all my right eye is on fire and my vision is extremely blurred. Making just seeing a bit more difficult than it usually is.
This flare is unlike winters of the past. I was emotionally prepped for it. I prepared myself for a pain increase. I worked hard all summer so this winter would be tolerable. Which it is. By tolerable its only a 9 instead of 10 on the pain scale. I have more "tools" to help decrease the pain. Which though not as effective as during the warmer months they are still helping.
To those who aren't really sure what any of this means let me try to explain.
Winter is my worst nightmare physically. Although I absolutely love snow my body and RSD do not. Just going outside (even with several layers) is excrutiating. I feel as though I am being sliced open repeatedly and bleach is being poured in my open wounds. On top of that I shiver. Making every muscle tighten up eventually causing severe spasms once i warm up. Because of all of this I severely limit any outdoor exposure during these months.
I hate that it prevents my family and I from enjoying outdoor winter activities. I would love to take the kids skiing and snow tubing. However just walking is a chore right now. But unlike winters of the past I am still able to walk. No crutches. I know my kids have a hard time dealing with all of this in the winter. They are forced to help out more because I do spend more time in the bed. They are also stuck in the house more than they would like to be.I wish things were different but this is our life. All I can do is make the best of it. I pray this all makes my kids stronger. I hope Im showing that despite having challenges you can still enjoy life.
Im going through this flare for the 1st time without being depressed. Without the "woe is me" mentality. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I refuse to focus on what I am not able to do. i know that despite the pain I am still able to get up and smile everyday. I still am able to teach my son daily. Maybe we are moving a little slower but Im doing it.
Raheem has been incredible through this flare. Hes been more supportive than ever before. We are both committed to enjoying our life together.
For the 1st time in all my winters with RSD i can see the light at the end of the tunnel......... SPRING.

My personal tips for a great manicure.

Good Morning Ladies. I figured I'd post a brief blog with some tips and methods i use to keep my nails looking good. Of course these ideas will be quick and inexpensive. As a mom of 3 i'm on a tight budget. Which is why i do my own manicures instead of going to a salon.
Read on if you'd like to know more.

How I Remove my nail polish.(super quick and easy)
I know I had posted a youtube video to my facebook that shows this method but i thought I'd let you know anyway.

The first thing is you will need 10-11 cotton Balls, nail polish remover, and 10 squares of regular tin foil.

You moisten your cotton ball with remover. Place it on top of the nail. Wrap the top of the finger with the cotton ball in tightly tin foil. Continue for all nails. Wait about 5-10 mins. Rub the foul a little bit. Pull off the foil and Viola all the polish is gone. This method works great when using glitter polishes, rhinestones or any othe nail art design.


A great tip to whiten and brighten your nails is to cover the nail with whitebing toothpaste let sit for 10 mins and you have instantly whiter nails.

When i soak my hands for a full manicure i pour some healing lotion into the bowl add some warmer water. I then stir it until most of the lotion has dissolved. I then add more water and add 2 store brand DENTURE CLEANSER TABLETS to the water. So not only am I softening and moisturizing my hands the denture cleabser helps clean and whiten your nails. I think i paid $6 for 100 tablets.

Also it is very important to never bite or pick your nails always keep a nail file and clear polish on hand.

Clear nail polish is key to strong nails. Even if you don't wear color you should put a coat or two of clear on every 2-3 days. This provides strength and helps the nail from breakong, peeling or splitting.

I hear all the time "my nails are weak, they bend, i can't grow them." to me those are excuses. If you follow some of my tips they will help you acheive long, strong natural nails.

I hope you all try some of these ideas. Let me know how they worked.

Also I am interested to know if you all would like more tips and ideas for inexpensive nail and beauty products and ideas.

Since I'm awake I might as well.

It's currently 6am and I'm wide awake due to the pain in my arm and alot on my mind. Pain wise it has been a rough week. My arm is not getting better despite trying everything. I am doing my best to focus my attention on other things. Other than the pain I can honestly say I had the best New Years in a long time. I spent the evening with my family and some really good friends. We enjoyed laughing ALOT and just acting goofy. Which probably had something to do with the drinks Raheem made. The kids dressed up in ridiculous outfits and went outside screaming as we officially rang in the new year. My New years day was spent watching The Mummers. Something I have done for over 25 years. I was also working on my nails.
Today is January 2nd. Today is a day that changed my life forever. My twin sister gave birth to my gorgeous niece and Goddaughter. Kia Desiree' Stafford. Kia was A gift given to us when nothing was going right in our lives. This beautiful baby entered my life, stole my heart and I've never been the same. Kia would be 17 today. I can't even imagine her today. My Goddaughter was taken from us far too soon. Just 7 short weeks after this tiny angel was born she passed away from SIDS. ( sudden infant death syndrome.) It was only 11 months after my mothers death. 1995 was a year that taught me just how strong i truly was. That year I became a woman. Part of that is because of my neice.
I look back on that year in amazement sometimes. I wonder how a 17 year old could survive so much tragedy and still become a good person. I learned to depend on myself. I learned about providing for myself. I came to realize I had to make it all work because i had noone to fall back on. 1995 is also the year Raheem and I got together, moved in together and got pregnant.
I think I've made my mom proud. I have a great husband (most of the time :p) I have a strong marriage. We have been through alot but our love for each other is virtually indestructible. I have 3 happy, healthy, beautiful, intelligent kids. We have amazing friends. I have instilled in my kids the same values my mother instilled in me. She would not be happy with the broken relationships with my sisters (ill explain in another blog.) However, in my heart I know my mom would understand my reasons for distancing myself from them.I love them both dearly but i must do it from afar.

Wow i wrote far more than i had anticipated. I just hope it makes some type of sense lol. I have so many thoughts running through my brain it makes it hard to keep them all straight.
Thanks to you all for reading.

Love & sparkles
~~ raspberry shortcake