Keep it positive... Right???

It's currently 2:30 am as i write this. I am wide awake. My pain is higher than it's been. Especially in my now swollen, sometimes burning up sometimes freezing cold, purple blotchy left arm.
I've never been a "normal" RSD ( reflex sympathetic dustrophy for those who don't know) patient. I got it without an injury. Literally it just showing up one day out of no-where. Then i went into remission for 6 lovely years. Then again out of nowhere it reappears. I had my first SCS (spinal cord stimulator) it worked beautifully. Taking most of the agonizing pain away, allowing me to live my life. Then out of nowhere my scs stops working. That level of pain relief to date has never been matched. But!! I was doing good. I was prepared for winter emotionally which meant far better control over my pain. Until 2 weeks ago when i cut my finger. Which has since completely healed barely even a scar. That little cut has left destruction in it's wake. Back to my extremely painful left arm.
When the pain 1st started to intensify i kept using it as normal as I could. However, now it's so painful just to move it. But unlike years and flares before I am much more emotionally prepared. I know it's a flare and through hard work the pain will subside. I just have to push through.
I refuse to let RSD control me. I will work through the emotions not let them work me. I've been down this road before but I'm stronger this time. I've also got the best team on myside. My family is so much more understanding and supportive. My girls help me so much. Raheem has changed and grown so much. He has been my rock these last few weeks (longer than that)he reminds me how strong i am everyday. He believes in me like he never has before. I also have some pretty awesome friends. They let me bitch and complain. They love me even if I don't get to go out often. They keep me company if I'm stuck in bed. Either in person, over the phone or through fb.
I love my family and friends dearly. I know i don't say Thank You nearly enough. But im truly grateful for them all.
I will be posting more. Doing more nail art anything that keeps me busy. So stay tuned you never know what. I'll write about next.

With the New Year just a few days away......

As we prepare to bring in another new year we look back and reflect on the last year. Quite a bit has changed for me this year. 1st my pain was at an all-time high. I barely got out of bed, couldn't put a shoe on and i used the crutches. Today im getting up and moving most days. I walk with shoes and no crutches.
Back in the late winter someone close to me recommended i try a more natural approach to treatment. I listened and low and behold it helped. My "therapist" has changed my life. Im so much stronger emotionally. Im more prepared for the journey ahead. He's helped me more than i can ever thank him for. Yes, i still have pain but i have more tools to help me now. It's gonna be a long road but I will take it one step at a time.
My family continues to grow. My girls are beautiful young ladies. With teenage girl attitudes. I get the privlege of being their mom. I watch as Jill decided she wants to try for the Air Force Academy and I couldn't be prouder. She's going to be a strong, independent beautiful woman. I watched as DeJah transitioned into a new dance school. Learning to adapt to something completely new and different. I see her love for dance grow everday. I only wish i had half her ability. She also reluctently started cyber school for 9th grade. She has become an honor roll student and learning has become somewhat of a priority for her. Her smile still melts me and her brown eyes still win me over everytime.
I see my baby boy growing so much everyday. He also is doing cyber school his progress has been incredible. He loves math and reading. He's progressing far beyond my expectations. I love teaching him. He's is such a well behaved mild manored kid. He owns every part of me and can pretty much do no wrong!
As I look back I smile. I know We are doing right for our children. They will all be given the ability to follow whatever dream it is they may have.
It's not always perfect but we are a family. Raheem and I love each other very much and will do whatever it takes for our kids.
I've learned alot about friendship this past year. I've had new friends come into my life and friends i've had forever leave my life. I believe people come into our lives for a purpose. Even if we don't know what it is. I treasure the friends i have. They know me and love me flaws and all. I love them the same.

Well now that i've bored you all
I'd like to wish everyone a Happy, Healthy New Year! Follow your dreams whatever they may be!!
~~<3

My very 1st blog!!

Hello and welcome!!
This is my 1st blog post ever so bare with me.

I've decided it's time to share some of my thoughts with anyone who is interested or has nothing better to do.

Im going to be writing about alot of things. I'll be writing about my family, RSD, makeup and nail art and whatever else comes to mind. It will be an interesting journey. I hope you will take this wild ride with me!!

I look forward to any questions, comments, ideas, suggestions and even constructive criticism. I will not allow any negativity!!

Thanks for reading. I'll talk to you all later!!
Peace, love and glitter!!!
<3 Raspberry Shortcake